Monday, 18 May 2015


Ok so firstly I have to say this movie is the bomb, like literally the best thing ever. I have always had a penchant for over the top explosions, revenge plots and badass ladies (hence why i forced myself to watch Sin City 2). However this movie isn't just like eating three of your favourite foods on a plate this is like eating your three favourite foods served in a delicious crepe handed to you by a gorgeous waiter who hands you his phone number but not the bill. Basically it's the best fever dream anyone has ever had.

fun fact: this guy is my patronus
So plot wise in the bright shiny dystopian desert land, Max (Tom Hardy, in gruff mode) is a badass who after family members and a small girl were murdered lives eating two headed lizards. He is captured by an evil warlord's Warboys ( who as a concept are freaking heartbreaking) where he is given a new haircut and used as a blood bag for dying war boys. (the warboys are running on borrowed time and only have short half lives if they survive they go up the ranks but mainly they are sheltered creatures who believe that dying is the best fate they have and it will get them into valhalla, poor boys) Max is strung up to the lovely Nux (Nicholas Holt, perfect in every way who btw just preorder him and Immortal Joe's solo prequel comic) but after Furiosa (Charlize Theron) steals the breeding stock known as The Wives well it hits the fan.

Nux fights for his right to drive into battle by tying Max up as his blood bag up to show as a sign of how strong he is. Immortal Joe looks at him and Nux knows he is riding into Valhalla. So we are off on a  big gas guzzle adventure ad that the extent of the plot i'm going to give you because it gets even crazier from here.

Anyway the big question everyones mind is, is it feminist? YES oh yes it is. It excels at tat  and thats what makes it so absolutely great. The whole thing is like nothing i've ever seen before and its treatment of women is what makes it so great.

Also all the stunts minus I think two are all practical effects including guitar guy over there.  I mean it feels real, unlike other big destruction based blockbusters like Avengers. This feels like things are really going nuts, everyone is gross, the world is dead and everyone has awesome cars which I guess is a kinda great consolation prize.

Basically go see this movie, there will be nothing you've ever seen before like it. Nothing at all (except maybe the originals)

Friday, 15 May 2015

Wayward Pines: New Vague Lynchian Magic from an Unlikely Source

We've all heard of M.Night Shymalan right? He was good vaguely and then well that Avatar movie and After Earth happened! He's much maligned now and has scurried into television and surprisingly it works. Welcome to Wayward Pines, a show that looks like it could turn out to be the worthy successor to Twin Peak's crown.
We have Secret Agent Ethan Burke, who is in a nasty car accident. He wakes up in the middle of nowhere, treads his weary legs into a local coffee shop and passes out. Waking up in a strange hospital with a vaguely nasty nurse who tells him the doctor will turn up eventually. It's all very odd. In a very good way.

So I'm not going to spoil it for you at all because you deserve to watch this with a fresh eyes. It's getting a poundign from everyone because of Shymalan and frankly those people can sod right off. People turn new sheets have bad moments, maybe Shymalan is made for TV.

Wayward Pines is really quite something and in it's first episode it kept me captivated and entertained and incredibly intrigued. Listen you like Twin Peaks welcome in, if you like general weird come on in but if your here to talk crap about it without even seeing it, leave now it'll be better without you clogging up the place.

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Screen Splurge May: Beaver Falls

So I haven't  done one of these in forever, so my apologies. Secondly I will go back to posting all the time after my exam ok. I'm not gone just paused a bit.

Let's go on to my Screen Splurge (these will be monthly now btw)

Beaver Falls is sorta like the Inbetweeners (which I don't like), I hatless comedies they suck. However where this differed was the actually interesting storyline. Which included the young pretty one in the red shirt actually being ill, he has just been diagnosed with t Ametropic Lateral Scelrosis and has conned his friends into coming to America to escape that. What follows is a brilliantly funny and touching comedy that was cancelled after just two series.

Certainly worth tracking down.

Monday, 4 May 2015


So because I have been busy bas heck and unable to do any work for you guys I decided to mix May the 4th with Short Film Friday (ok it's monday but hey bank holidays throw everyone off base) for this very special edition.Welcome to Vincente Bonet's short film "Love Wars". A short film about gay stormtroopers (which is why this proudly joins the Tales from the Quiltbag section of the blog)

This vanish short film is absolutely fantastic. Definitely worth a watch on today of all days.

Also in other news on a space station today they watch Star Wars, You go SPACE NERDS.

Full Film Under Cut

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Avengers Age of Ultron: Problematic but Brilliant Superhero comfort food

Ok, I have been building up to this one. I saw it the two days after it came out in the UK. It was a big deal as usual with superhero movies in my family the whole clan was there. Yes including grand parents who enjoyed it immensely but yeah let's head review this.

As usual for a marvel film it was chock full of excellent fights, brilliant effects and witty one liners that  are inevitably gonna block up twitter. Yeah yeah "Language","do you kiss your mother with that mouth" and Hawkeye's amazing talk to Scarlet witch are all beautifully written to make them as memorable as possible.
As i am not best place to talk about the problematic elements I have decided to link you to Fandoms and Feminism's post that explains it better than I ever could. HERE IT IS. The main problem is the whitewashing of Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch which was gross frankly, WHY MARVEL WHY. There were some elements that definitely were gross too but as I have said above Fandoms and Feminism explains it better. 

Hover like all Marvel films it was supremely watchable and I will inevitably see the next one with the full family as per usual,. It;s just a shame that such a brilliant studio like Marvel that has listened to fans before decided to pollute a movie with this problematic crap.

I wanted to write more but honestly I can't. It's marvel's standard MO heres hoping it's onwards and upwards from the MCU.